love for work, work for love.

Getting laid off feels a lot like a break up. It doesn't matter whether you see it coming or not. The confusion in your mind keeps jumping from hate to love and love to hate. A part of you wants to just forgive and forget, move on, and be happy. To just live your life. And then suddenly, it hits you. The fact that you've put in so much effort, so much of your blood, sweat, and tears, invested so much for something that you cared for, for the sake of love for design/design for love. All that to get you where you're at now. Unemployed/broken-hearted. Relationship or job, it's the same feeling, really.

You go through certain phases. At first, you're shaken, shocked. You hate them for what happened. For doing what had to be done. For not having things done on your terms. Then you come to acceptance, to understanding, to seeing why it happened. You get the support you need. You feel better. Happiness comes back, you have fun, and you see that it's no big deal. Life goes on. But then after the support team leaves you, at the end of the night when you're in bed and with nothing else in your mind but what happened that day, you can't help but reflect upon it. And denial and disbelief come back. And it becomes a cycle of mood swings over and again until time allows you to forgive and forget.

Well, at least no bridges burned. But the thoughts in my head are still flying at light speed and hurting my head a little. It's weird to get to know a place or person so well for so long, every day and then suddenly, nothing. With that said, it's comforting to at least know that this is only something I'm going through and that I'll get through this in time. And also that I'm not the only one in this boat. LOL