lost and not found.

Underground - Moist

My life lately feels a lot quieter... It's not that I'm complaining, because it's a good thing, really; it's more me time. But I am complaining. I'm complaining because I have all this time to myself and I've been feeling really motivated to be productive, yet I don't have the means to work on my stuff. I'm waiting on my new laptop, which comes in Wednesday. According to the tracker, it is currently in Alaska...

To pass time, I started playing Fable II to give it a try. I haven't really played an RPG since Neverwinter Nights, about five years ago. Why's that? Because when I get into these games, they can really consume me. As much as I've always wanted to try World of Warcraft, I never played it for the said reason. But with Fable, I thought meh... I'll have self-control.

No. I stayed up until 3:30am two nights in a row playing this game so I could buy a house for my character. It hurts me to see myself on that couch for 5 hours straight on that game. Especially when I work the next morning. I've lost my mind...

I went to Mississauga to chill with my good friends from Kingston today. Good times. We went to Playdium and DDR'ed it up and played some sick racing games with full steering wheel feedback and bucket seats rocking. Jolly good times, I say. We saw some serious kids on this DDR machine though. These kids meant business. They brought towels, change of shirts and shoes, and even a bottle of Windex (why?)... They set the game on uber hard and just stepped up a storm! Those arrows were traveling at least 50km/hr. No wonder kids these days have short attention spans. I took a video of them. I caught them at a less intense part though.

I've become quite absent-minded this week. I keep misplacing and losing things. I lost my January TTC Metropass, I misplaced my penicillin Thursday and was 30 minutes late for work, and then I lost the whole bottle today. Probably at Playdium. And of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

and so the story goes...

To Love Somebody - Live - Damien Rice and Ray LaMontagne

and so the story goes;
tragedies come and go.
yeses turn into noes
and vice versa, everybody knows.

no one is the victim;
they're both to blame.
she thought he let go.
she thought she let go.

Stiff neck, sick, burnt fingertips, exhausted from lack of sleep, and cold. What a way to spend a day... Haha.

I'm posting an improvised meal I had last week some time. I had some salmon and pasta. I thought about Milestones's delicious Seafood Linguine... I tried to make my own, but it didn't taste good... It may look good, and it may be healthy, but my tongue did not agree...

Sunday night, I also made a tuna, rice, broccoli, fish sticks and cheese casserole. It was surprisingly decent! It was also improvised. It was also how I seared my 3 fingertips on my right hand. God. I don't know how I get myself into these hilarious clumsy situations. They should have a show after me. Almost like a Mr. Bean comedy...

Le sigh...

3 lefts make a right.

It feels to me as though 2008 was the year of hesitance, rethinking and adjustment, and 2009 is the year of execution. Already things have been happening and the wheels are in motion.

I went to my dental surgery consultation this week. I heard some good news! The gap where my missing tooth is is wide enough for implant, and the surgery date has been set for the 27th of this month! I'll be getting my dental implant, finally... Hopefully I won't need bone grafting. Gross.

Basically, I'm told that my jawbone has already receded, but thanks to technology, I might not need bone grafting. They're going to put me out on surgery day, open me up, see if I need grafting. If I do, they'll do the grafting, then I have to wait 6 months for the bone dust to solidify before the implant can happen. Otherwise, I get the implant and within 4 months (hopefully), the braces come OFF!!! Cross your fingers for me, baby! I'm going to Hollywood! Been there, done that. Nothing special.

I am now officially a designer in the creative team at my work, instead of production. Gold. It's a lot of adjustments, but hopefully it's nothing I can't handle, with a little help and time.

Since work started again in the new year, I feel like I haven't stopped or slept much at all. I've been pretty busy with life and catching up to things I need to do, catching up with friends after the holidays. I finally took down the Christmas tree tonight, and packed some more old stuff into the basement. I don't think I'll have much time for anything else the rest of the month. A bit of partying tomorrow night, surgery and recovery on 27/28, then before you know it, February's here.

Can't wait for the weather to warm up a bit more. I've been itching to get on my bicycle.
It's going to be a good year.

sickness in stillness.

Got sick over the weekend somehow. Eyes are teary, nose is runny, head is hurty, and I'm having a hard time sleepy even though I feel so fatigué. Days like these, I wish I still lived at home; to be taken care of, just like the good ol' days as a kid.

Instead, I had to haul my own ass out of bed, make myself some instant noodles (cause I have nothing else in the apartment), clean myself, and scrounge for whatever medication I have in the medicine cabinet. Man, being a grown-up sucks when you're sick.

Hopefully, it's back to work in the morning. I don't know if I can handle another day of stillness while feeling miserable.


Song of the day: Life is a Song by Patrick Park

goodnight trouble.

Nice.

Productive at last... Not in terms of the usual day-to-day productivity where I'm just doing mindless routine work cleaning, paying bills, and facebooking. No. I turned down some beer and video games to work on my own personal work. This is the first time in a long time, and it felt good.

I forgot how much fun personal work can be... The artistic freedom with no limits. Now that's what I'm talkin 'bout. What is this I'm working on, you ask? A personal pet project for shits and giggles... I was thinking of posting a preview of what I've been working on, but I think that would ruin the fun. Soooo... I'll stop talking about it...

Hair report: Coming up on 3 months now. During these three months, I've gotten a very minor trim before Thanksgiving, and one actual haircut at Lattitudes at the Eaton Centre. Overpaid for the styling, but I needed it, and in the end it looked good. Next haircut/trim will probably be before Christmas.

I was listening to a bit of Phil Collins on the way home. Sussussudio! Sossossogood! A productive day and night, some good music and good sushi for lunch and lots of Indian food for dinner... Goodnight trouble indeed.

who wears short shorts.

i miss wearing shorts...

take me back to the start and tell me your secrets.

Since I got back from L.A., I haven't had much time to clean around the apartment. So Sunday and Monday night after work, I had a productive two days of cleaning, and still I'm not done. I put away most of my summer clothes and went through some stuff that's been sitting on my drafting table since I moved here last November...

What did I find? Lots of memories. Photos, gifts, money ($100!! booya!), receipts from restaurants around Toronto, Richmond Hill, New York and Los Angeles, even! Also came across some limited edition postcards from muh boyz Tessar and Chad, some notes and mixed CDs, primitive hangman drawings, a furry mustache. The mustache was quite a find. Had to pack up all my art supplies that have' just been collecting dust, and put them in the basement along with shoeboxes of old memories.

It's funny how these things we attribute so much value to, really have no value at all. They're just everyday objects. Yet, we hold on to them as if our lives depended on it. As if we could change the past by holding on to them, when really we're just stopping ourselves from moving forward, everytime that box gets opened. Nothing but should've could've would've's fill our minds, and we get lost in this madness. Although, I will admit; there's a certain comfort that comes with looking into the past. But when it starts to take over our lives, we have to draw that line and get a handle on ourselves.

Gesso that painted canvas and put down that first brushstroke. Some residue will still show through, but it's what adds character and meaning to life.

On a lighter note, It's been 5 days now since I shaved my face, and 34 days since I shaved my head. I'm growing quite a peasantish teen stache... and lovin it! What the Hell. Life's short, time's limited. Time for a new beginning; I'm going back to the start.

"tell me ur secrets"
"haha, what secrets?"
"when people are drunk they tell secrets"

coldplay - the scientist >

hairy hotter.

I've decided to grow my hair. The last time I shaved my head was just before leaving for Los Angeles on September 4th. So that makes it day 26 today. Miguel, Zack and Craig all agreed today that if I lost my braces and glasses and grew my hair, they wouldn't recognize me. Well... We'll see about that.

I've never had my hair longer than a #2 on the sides and back, and a bit more than 2 inches at the top. Though, back in 1995, I was sporting the good ol' undercut, which the top was probably 4 to 5 inches long. But my sides were always cleancut, cause I couldn't stand the sideburns touching my ears... And as many of you already know, I've also always wanted facial hair. But alas, I'm Asian, so I can only grow those 3 or 4 hairs on my chin. Gross.

I'm thinking growing my hair long this time. I probably won't cut my hair until Christmas, probably longer. Maybe go for a trim here and there. To speed up the process, I've photoshopped myself with longer hair.

So... What's the verdict?


I'm kinda diggin this... Not so much the clothes though... Now if only I had that much hair.


Um... No thanks...


Jackpot!


Ice Ice, Baby.

so you can cry.

Taking a quick break from some sketching and planning a side project. Haven't really drawn in a while and it feels pretty good, actually. It's only been a week and already I feel like I need another vacation, haha. I came back to a pile of work and a couple of get togethers with friends, so I haven't had time to clean up that dump I call my room.

I got the Ne-Yo's new album Year of the Gentleman off of Migz, and I'm really digging the tracks. My faves: So You Can Cry, Fade Into The Background, Nobody, Miss Independent. And because I listen to quite a bit of George Michael, I noticed that Ne-Yo's song Nobody had this very George Michael feel to it. A while later, I realized that the background beat sounded very similar to George Michael's Cars and Trains. It bothered me for a while that I didn't know where that came from.


So You Can Cry - Ne-Yo >

Oh another discovery!! I don't have to play my music from my shitty laptop speakers anymore! I can plug in my iPod to my XBox 360 and play it off my sweetass TV! Wait til I get surround sound, baby... So much to shop for, so little money, haha. Time to start saving. El sigh...

hold your own, know your name.

I think 2008 is a year of personal reflection for a lot of us. It seems as though quite a few people I care for and love are going through some rougher times this year, especially nearing this summer's end. I'm glad I can be there for you as you have for me. Whatever your troubles are, you have to believe and think positively. We'll get through this together. Take care of yourselves first. You deserve it. Thanks for all your support.


Details in the Fabric - Jason Mraz

I wanted to write more. I've been really hooked on this Korean drama series called My Girl that Nataly showed me... But I'm not in as good of a mood as I was when I first started writing the above. So needless to say, I don't really feel like sharing right now.

right into the... danger zone!

Went karaoking Saturday night after a semi-awkward dinner with friends. We went to XO Karaoke at Bloor and Clinton, just east of Christie in Koreatown. I haven't k'ed in what felt to be a long while, so it was really fun. I liked some of the song selections they had there, but I didn't like their controls. We couldn't turn the singing pitch on for some reason, so it totally relied on our voices alone. I still preferred BMB over XO.

I had an awesome time singing Guns N' Roses' Sweet Child O' Mine. I think I did an alright Axl Rose... 2.25 hours later, I was the only one left singing. Nataly, uncle Siu, Rachel, and Lisa were all tired and ready to pass out... On our way home, Nataly and I found 3 pieces of chicken wings and a fry on the streetcar floor. It looked extremely appetizing...

The Canadian International Air Show was at the Ex this long weekend. All weekend I had to listen to sonic booms from jet fighters soaring through the skies by the waterfront. It was cool at first, but eventually it got loud and annoying. Then I thought to myself that it must be what the citizens of Middle Eastern countries at war hear every day and night, but without the feeling of security and safety...


The chicken wings and fry.


Rogers Centre. Walking my way home from Union Station


F-18 Hornet above the Toronto Island Airport.


Same F-18


F-18 Hornet flying right into the Danger Zone!

bowlin bowlin bowlin. keep that strike a comin.

Went out bowling Saturday night after some Kenny's Noodles for my bro's birthday. Except the birthday boy didn't come after dinner.. We were going to see Tropic Thunder, but they were pretty much sold out by the time we got there. We ended up going bowling, which I haven't gone on a regular basis since last fall. And for the first time since then, I wasn't sucking! I almost broke 100!! My first game, I got 100, and my second I got 98. True story.

I know I know. You're probably thinking "100? I can bowl that blindfolded with a broken arm and leg !" But since last summer, I've been bowling shit. It was a celebration if I got over 50... But Saturday night, I was mildly on fire!! Barely triple digits, son!! Oh, and do NOT do a full backswing with a 15 pound ball if your hands aren't big enough to get a firm grip! It can get dangerous, as everyone at the alley witnessed... Also true story.

I saw a friend from high school tonight, who I haven't seen or talked to in 8 years... We caught up on a lot and talked about life and his little ones... Man, do things ever change in 8 years. Nothing. Nothing at all ever prepares us for the new that's to come. We just kind of have to stand up and face it. But facing it is not enough. We also have to embrace it in the present, in the now. Almost true story.

Belief is a beautiful armour
but makes for the heaviest sword
Like punching underwater
you never can hit who you're trying for
Some need the exhibition
and some have to know they tried
It's the chemical weapon
for the war that's raging on inside
Oh, everyone believes
From emptiness to everything
Oh, everyone believes
And no one's going quietly

Belief - John Mayer [Continuum]

voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

J'ai dis que je voulais pratiquer mon français dès le mois d'avril, mais je l'ai jamais fais... Alors, ce soir, je vais écrire une passage de blog en français. Corrigez-moi si je fais des erreurs, parce-que c'est la seule façon que je vais me rapppeler.

Je l'ai fais ma mission d'apprendre le langue que j'ai perdue. Avec Craig's List, j'ai rencontré une personne qui vient de Marseilles en France, et à peu près une fois par semaine, je lui rencontre pour parler en français avec lui. Il parle en anglais avec moi, et je lui répond en français, en espoire qu'on va s'améliorer notre langues secondaires. J'espère que mon accent anglais sera disparu dans quelques mois, et que je serai capable d'écrire en français sans erreurs. Mais peut-être que je suis trop ambitieux? Je ne sais pas...

fire in the sky.

As I was biking home from oyster dinner at Rodney's, there was a dark purple cloud looming overhead. A storm's a brewin'. But what really caught my eye was the fiery orange clouds glowing from the horizon. I couldn't help but bike faster to get to the Bathurst bridge (South of Front) to get some shots in. Luckily I had the camera with me and got there before the sun set completely. It felt as if the gods were angry. Yet it was so beautiful...

And with that said, that song by Ne-Yo, When You're Mad just popped into my head. I'm really excited to make my August CD. Got some pretty good ol' school songs I want to burn on it. But I just want to wait til the end of the month in case I hear something new or someone intros me to something better. But to name a few: Smashing Pumpkins' 1979 and Disarm, Counting Crows' Round Here and Mr. Jones, John Mayer's Heart of Life, Common's So Far To Go.

There's a couple of unmentioned songs that I know you'll find incriminating. And I'll admit, I'm ashamed to even have it on my considered list right now, but this is my list, not your list. And my list is full of fun and variety. I'll only mention one as a preview of how bad it gets, haha. Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It by Will Smith. That's right. I said it. The Fresh Prince himself. If you think the song is bad, you gotta check out the video. And don't be judgin' me, cause I know you've danced to this song at one point or another!!

Those oysters didn't fill me up one bit. Nor did that smoked salmon. Time to scrounge for food...


Facing West on the Bathurst Bridge North of Fort York Boulevard


Facing West on the Bathurst Bridge North of Fort York Boulevard


Facing West on the Bathurst Bridge North of Fort York Boulevard


Facing North at Queens Quay and Bathurst.


Facing North at Queens Quay and Bathurst.

nature calls.

I've been biking after work to Cherry Beach for the past two days to read and enjoy the setting sun. Really relaxing... It makes me want to make the most of my summer before the nasty ass snow comes back. Something about the sound of water and birds in the background, it's so soothing. Makes you forget about all the crap that gets thrown at you from the minute you wake up.

Every day, we spend the majority of our time inside a room, office, or vehicle. Always confined within some sort of space. And those times when we're commuting, we're listening to the radio, ipod, or talking/sleeping... Always looking in front of you or downwards at the ground. So rare do we exercise our neck muscles to look up at the sky. The clouds. The stars. The vastness of this world. If we took 5 minutes a day to stare up at the sky and truly focus on the space above us, we'll realize how meaningless our daily routines, our possessions, our money, our "sense of individuality" are.

This is just a clip of Cherry Beach and how relaxing it was. Just ambient sounds and a beautiful view, nothing action packed. But hey, maybe it'll inspire you to get off your lazy ass and do some outdoor activities and breathe in some almost-fresh Toronto air... haha.


Online Videos by Veoh.com

GO thieves

for all you GO transit commuters who drive to the station, you better start locking up your rims and mufflers... this could be your car. thieves have been stealing car parts at GO parking lots in the GTA. for the full scoop, read the article from the toronto star.

type type typolution

it's been a pretty hectic week so far. there's been a lot of weird occurrences and low energy everywhere. been tired all day with a killer headache, but ended up going indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his friends. pretty awesome, i must say. took my headache away for a while.

had to do some research at work and i ran into something pretty amazing. pure typography animation. it must've taken so long to create... listening to that song from ratatat, it made me miss bloor st so much. summer 2007 was fantabulous.

anyway, here it is. in case you can't see it, link here.

spectacular spectacles.

they accent your face
like the stars in space.
they draw focus to where true beauty lies;
in your deep brown eyes.
did i really fall in love with you, i realized?
or did i fall in love the disguise for your eyes?

chameleons the spectacles be,
blending in to whatever trend you see.
with all shapes and sizes available to you,
you just have to pick a pair that's fresh and new.
there are no worries about infidelities,
for you may have as many as you please.

restless bodyguards they make,
shielding your pupils for your sake.
while protecting your eyes
from wild flies,
they can also shade your sight
so you don't step in shite.

sharper vision, ability to read,
darker sight; anything your eyes need.
combinations are also available,
that's what makes glasses so wonderful.
spectacular spectacles, i owe you my eyes;
for without you, i could never see her true guise.