love for work, work for love.

Getting laid off feels a lot like a break up. It doesn't matter whether you see it coming or not. The confusion in your mind keeps jumping from hate to love and love to hate. A part of you wants to just forgive and forget, move on, and be happy. To just live your life. And then suddenly, it hits you. The fact that you've put in so much effort, so much of your blood, sweat, and tears, invested so much for something that you cared for, for the sake of love for design/design for love. All that to get you where you're at now. Unemployed/broken-hearted. Relationship or job, it's the same feeling, really.

You go through certain phases. At first, you're shaken, shocked. You hate them for what happened. For doing what had to be done. For not having things done on your terms. Then you come to acceptance, to understanding, to seeing why it happened. You get the support you need. You feel better. Happiness comes back, you have fun, and you see that it's no big deal. Life goes on. But then after the support team leaves you, at the end of the night when you're in bed and with nothing else in your mind but what happened that day, you can't help but reflect upon it. And denial and disbelief come back. And it becomes a cycle of mood swings over and again until time allows you to forgive and forget.

Well, at least no bridges burned. But the thoughts in my head are still flying at light speed and hurting my head a little. It's weird to get to know a place or person so well for so long, every day and then suddenly, nothing. With that said, it's comforting to at least know that this is only something I'm going through and that I'll get through this in time. And also that I'm not the only one in this boat. LOL

update.

1963 - Rachael Yamagata

Some of you may have noticed on my Twitter that I wrote I'm not drinking beer til summer. Everyone laughed, but it is happening. I might have an occasional mixed drink or glass of wine, but in terms of beer, and also getting plastered in general, that will have to stay to a minimal. Come February, I'll be fully recovered from surgery, I'm going to start a cleanse and see how it goes, and dedicate more time on being active and try and live a healthier lifestyle.

I know, I know. I said that last March, one or two entries into my first blog posts... But like I said before, 2009 is the Year of Execution. No more delays. Get into shape, no more crap food, and save! Maybe I'm too ambitious? Worth a try. At least til the summer anyway.

I noticed today the freelance project I did months back for Honda Fit is up on the fitisgo.ca website. Apparently, it's been up for a long while now. It also won an FWA. You can read more about it in my other blog.

I also put in my order for the new 15" Macbook Pro!! Soooo~ Sometime next week, I'll get it. Exciting!! I'm doing my part in helping out the economy. Are you?

Lastly, I'd like to share a hilarious music video with you. My good friend Miguel sent me the song today, and I youtubed it when I got home, the video makes the song that much funnier. And that boy T-Pain can dance!! Note: This video is one of the reasons I'm giving up beer. Haha...

One More Drink - Ludacris ft. T-Pain

long john silver.

Long johns. I don't like them cause they're so tight and they make me sweaty and itchy when I'm indoors. But as soon as I step outside, I forget about all the cons and look up into the sky and thank God for long johns.

I remember as a kid, I hated them. But when my dad had to drive my brothers and I to school in the morning, he would pinch our thighs. If he couldn't feel a second layer of material under our pants, he'd send us back inside to get those long johns on. Oh kids...

Been spending a lot of time working on my own things lately and I've been walking out with a smile every time. I've made some sacrifices in order to get myself together, and as bad as I feel about those sacrifices, I feel great about myself. I gotta be selfish from time to time in order to get what I want, ya know? And what do I want? Peace of mind. And how else could you get peace of mind in this nasty freezing weather were it not for long johns?

Thank God for long johns.

goodnight trouble.

Nice.

Productive at last... Not in terms of the usual day-to-day productivity where I'm just doing mindless routine work cleaning, paying bills, and facebooking. No. I turned down some beer and video games to work on my own personal work. This is the first time in a long time, and it felt good.

I forgot how much fun personal work can be... The artistic freedom with no limits. Now that's what I'm talkin 'bout. What is this I'm working on, you ask? A personal pet project for shits and giggles... I was thinking of posting a preview of what I've been working on, but I think that would ruin the fun. Soooo... I'll stop talking about it...

Hair report: Coming up on 3 months now. During these three months, I've gotten a very minor trim before Thanksgiving, and one actual haircut at Lattitudes at the Eaton Centre. Overpaid for the styling, but I needed it, and in the end it looked good. Next haircut/trim will probably be before Christmas.

I was listening to a bit of Phil Collins on the way home. Sussussudio! Sossossogood! A productive day and night, some good music and good sushi for lunch and lots of Indian food for dinner... Goodnight trouble indeed.

chicken and thriller mix.

Sitting here, eating my Swiss Chalet, listening to some Michael Thriller 25, I couldn't ask for more... Good food into my stummy, good tunes into my brain, awesomeness epitomized.

It's been exactly 2 months since I last shaved my head. It's gotten quite the length! I only touched it once before Thanksgiving to try and even out the strays. The hairs touching and tickling my ears have been driving me nuts! Especially with my glasses clamping them down forcing them outwards. I've been waking up with cowlicks, which I haven't seen in a long time. At least not on my head. I'll probably have to go for a trim this week or weekend to prep it for Rich and Jenna's wedding next week.

As for the facial hair, it only lasted a week. Nobody at home could take me seriously. My mom said I looked like a hahm suhp lo (pervert in Chinese), my brother was thoroughly digusted, my cousin couldn't even finish a sentence without being interrupted by laughter... So off my face it went the next morning. El sigh.

In other news, Suzuki.ca finally launched! Another project I worked on will be launching some time this week also. Anyway. Time to relax. Beat it.


a week's worth of growth. gross.

papiroflexia

Ugh. Really shouldn't've eaten that McDonald's... It felt so right at the time. Now it feels so gross. Not eating fast food for another month, at least... Pretty excited to post a couple of banner concepts I animated for this health insurance company in the States. Unfortunately, neither of the concepts were used. As soon as the current ones go live, I'll post the unused concepts.

I have nothing for you this weekend, except for this cool animation from Joaquin Baldwin's portfolio, whose animation I found through Motionographer.com. If only it were that simple to change the world...




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